growing up.

i've been bad at this. keeping you up to date with life.
i live in a lakehouse with my precious spotted four legged love and two grandparents who dote over me as if i were still seven. yes, it's ridiculous. but it's nice. right now.

at the same time, i'm going crazy. i live in a town where i know no one, at least no one with a tattoo or facial hair or a nose ring. and they aren't my people. i feel like an alien in my linen who came from another world 100 miles down the road, and they don't know how to handle it. but regardless, i live here, with a steady paycheck, in a lakehouse with my puppy.

i miss the people who made the holy city home, the dysfunctional family who were my life, the men who kept me awake at night, the girl who is moving on to attend grad school with her geetar playing boy, and the two ladyloves who were the other ringleaders of my circus. people danced around us. and now, i dance around people. in this new town.

i know, one day soon, life will change and i'll eventually become a ringleader again. but, for now, i miss that far off planet 100 miles away, where no one grows up and no one gets out.

so for now, i visit. because i visit the place i still call home. maybe one day i'll be back. but i'm not ready for that yet. for good. i need to learn how to love this place. and make it my own circus.