never alone.

in the next two months, i currently hold two tickets in my hands to concerts i'm pretty sure might change my life.

march 11: ryan adams.
may 10: kings of leon.

i'm unbelievably fortunate to live in an incredible town where amazing music continually infiltrates itself within the boundaries of this holy city. the thing is, every year around this time, i tend to miss you more. i don't know if it's because two years ago was the day i gave you the box filled with our stuff, or just because the warm weather reminds me of the front seat of your car with the windows rolled down, but inevitably, it happens. every year. and upon buying these tickets with an incredible circle of friends surrounding me in the seats, i wish you were a part of them. i know you love both of those artists, and i wouldn't put it past you to know that you're going to be there, but today it just kind of hit me that i don't know why i care that you will or won't be there.

i walked out on the driveway last night just for a moment of silence, and in a flash, my bare feet on the cool concrete brought back the memory of the morning you reversed out of the driveway. so instead of calling you to hear your voice, i ran back inside and put on shoes. and when i saw your missed call/ voicemail this morning, it took everything i had to not run to your side, but i didn't. you can do this, and you know it. life has thrown both of us a curveball right now, but i can't be there anymore. with you. and i wish you wouldn't find me when you need me most, because that's generally when i need you too. and i laugh while i write this, because we shouldn't still need each other. but, all that aside, i dream that one day, i'll meet you and layla at the dog park after work, or surprise you at midnight in the studio, or buy a ticket to come see you in a city in the midwest in the dead of winter because you hate being cold in a strange place. but i can't be that right now. and i've told you this. over. and. over. i have to make it through may 9, find a job to catch me up in this mountain of debt, and i need to do it by myself. but one day, i hope, you'll find a way to be in a seat beside me at a kings of leon concert, or a place amidst the amazing circle of friends i've surrounded myself with in charleston. i think you'd like them.

i'm so tired of talking about you. it's getting increasingly harder knowing you're close by, but i just have to keep mulling through without you around. because you haven't been for two years, and even though i've somehow seen you more in the past 6 months than i ever did when you were mine and i was yours, we're not that anymore. and it's still tough admitting it. so please, leave me be.

please, please, please leave me be.


may the angels protect you, trouble neglect you
and heaven accept you when it's time to go home
may you always have plenty, your glass never empty
you know when you're better
you're never alone

may your tears come from laughing
you find friends worth having
with every year passing, they mean more than gold
may you win but stay humble
smile more than grumble
and know when you stumble
you're never alone

never alone, never alone
i'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown
wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye
my love will follow you, stay with you
baby, you're never alone

well i have to be honest, as much as i wanted
i'm not gonna promise the cold winds won't blow
so when hard times have found you
and your fears surround you
i'll wrap my love around you
you're never alone

never alone, never alone
i'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown
wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye
my love will follow you, stay with you
baby, you're never alone

may the angels protect you, trouble neglect you
and heaven accept you when it's time to go home
and when hard times have found you
and your fears surround you
i'll wrap my love around you
you're never alone

never alone, never alone
i'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown
wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye
my love will follow you, stay with you
baby, you're never alone